Published April 21, 2019
Stunna Boy, known by the State as Mart Jackson, is somewhere on the spectrum between absolute legend and high-functioning flamboyant Hollywood star.
The latter part of that latter half is the missing piece in Stunna Boy’s complete name: Stunna Boy Get Em’ Real Hollywood Star. Stunna Boy exists as a sort of anomaly on the internet. He is a creation of late stage capitalism, State welfare gone wrong, and likely a hint of schizophrenia. But none of that shit matters, because as Stunna Boy will gladly let you know, he’s rich as fuck.
How rich is Stunna Boy Get Em’? His networth is a figure hidden as though held secret by Masons or Kabalists. However, you, my dear reader, can get a glimpse into his luxurious lifestyle through his various YouTube videos showing off what he does best- going to the mall and dumping that check on hundreds of items of various articles of random shit.
From iPhone chargers and accessories at a surplus that nobody will ever need in their life, to a DVD collection fit that makes the Library of Babel look like a silly joke. Stunna Boy is this masterful. He pulls off outfits that would make Ian Connor cry. Although the man has yet to be featured in Vogue, one can only imagine how many times Anna Wintour has called personally, begging for him to do a photoshoot.
Behind his flamboyant outfits, broken up typing, hoarding traits, is a man and his pacifier. Behind that is a Soul. No one knows much about the elusive Big Stunna, but there is a lot to learn from a quick scan of his social media.
The legend’s Instagram is flooring. Perhaps what is most interesting about Stunna Boy isn’t even anything to do with himself or his own character, but the fanbase that interacts with and troll him. The account reads like a Whacky Magical Hall of Mirrors, where anything you throw towards Stunna is immediately reflected back at you up on his account. What exactly do I mean by this? The images are..too much..to post even here on our beloved Mercury, however one can send him message of just about anything through him, as horrifying as you can imagine, and have it broadcasted to his 3,000+ followers, simply by adding the text over an image of a teenager. Why? Because Stunna is allegedly illiterate, and allegedly has a knack for teens.
The fans are aware of this, and of most of the couple thousand is a demographic ages 12-25. Yes, as young as 12, as pictured above. Many of his fans are his best friends, and many of his best friends are his worst enemy. They abuse the aforementioned tactic of image spreading to disseminate innocent memes but also hateful, racey images. This puts Stunna Boy at the constant threat of being removed by the iron fist of Zuckerberg from the platform, or worse, something like a visit from the FBI. However, one must have dignity and esteem when using the internet, no? At least that is the ethic we believe at the Autistic Mercury.
Thats what happens with fame though baby, it comes with the territory. Who said it was easy being rich as fuck?